I dont need a shoulder to cry on.

Well, I thought my problems were over. But lately, I realized that it's still there. It was there the whole time, but I guess I was blind folded by my own words. Blind folded by my own fantasy world. An imaginary world where I have no problems to think of. But all of a sudden, things didnt work out the way I wanted it to be. And that fantasy world of mine vanished into thin air and turned into Hell on Earth, right here, in this miserable town I'm living in.
All of it came one by one and went away together. Just when one of the problem is about to be solved, something will just happen and another problem comes in. Well, it doesnt seems like it's related, but when you observe it carefully, it's damn related and to solve it, you just need to sacrifice and lose something. Maybe something that's important? Or maybe something that you think IS important.
A decision and a final answer is the way to overcome it. A simple sentence like "we're over" can make the whole town go crazy. You'll see tears or maybe even laughter. Hatred might present in that someone. But in order to get something, you just need to lose something or maybe forget that something. It might hurt a lot. But we still have to move on. Continue our life, look forward, be optimistic.
Funny. I can write out these stuffs, but to do as what I wrote, is as hard as lifting a mountain. Which is impossible. Sometimes I feel like crying and feel like i'm gonna break down soon, but these thoughts will just come into my mind, sayin
"What's the point of holding on something that you know is impossible?".
"What's the point of crying when you can smile?".
"What's the point of waiting when you can just move on?"
I'm smiling, doesnt mean that I'm happy.
I'm crying, doesnt mean that I'm sad.
I'm laughing, doesnt mean that I think something is funny.
I can smile to cover my sadness.
I can cry, and have tears of joy rolling down my cheek.
I can laugh just to be sarcastic.
There's meaning behind every little moves that we make. And same goes to every words that we said. Sayin I dont know, doesnt mean that I really2 dont know. I can pretend not to know something. Why? Maybe cz I dont want any trouble. Maybe cz I dont wanna think of it. Or maybe, i'm just being humble?
Sometimes, I feel lonely inside, but to think of it again, I'm never lonely. I have my friends and family, what more could I ask for? Humans. We are never satisfied and nothing can satisfy us. When we had something that we wanted, we wanted more. And more shall we get, but still, it's not enough. This goes on and on till the day we became ashes.
Christmas is around the corner, and this year had been the worst year ever. Problems nvr stopped buggin me. It's like it's been following me around, just like my shadow. It sticks with me wherever I go. How I wish I can have a magical wand with me now and replace all of my problems with eternal hapiness.